I have always been a good sleeper. My bff tells me my ability to sleep anywhere on command is creepy. But she's insanely jealous. Lately I'm brain awake at 4:30. Student teacher. podcast club's tech problems. KSA. edits on 2 AND 3. 2 new wips that won't leave me alone. my parents. The worries have worries, the To Do has 12 sub sets.
What is that I can open my eyes in darkness at 4:30 and suddenly know that I left the laptop by the whiteboard? Or I forgot to tell so-and-so about that book so-and-so. I'm saying, it's WEIRD. It's like my brain spent a few hours filtering all the days junk, decided on the one thing I forgot, and needed to tell me.
It reminds me most of when I'm in a good "flow" while I'm writing. And I have an out-of-body. I become aware of my fingers moving, but they're not mine. I see the words passing in front of my eyes and I read what is on the screen and can think about it as if it wasn't my thoughts. It's deeply woo-woo. Like my brain is having it's own little creative explosion and I'm just rubber-necking.
Here's to the human brain. And sleep. And hot stories that appear as my fingers move by themselves.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Monday, September 10, 2007
Flashing
Underwear is for the birds. Whenever I can, I go without. Really. So school started and I'm wearing a bra again and my neck and shoulders are KILLING me. I'm a b-cup, so I can't blame the poundage. It's the whole contraption. It's a HARNESS. You've got to hook those girls up so they can lead the wagon! UGH. Let's see men strap this thing on their body for a week to avoid showing some jiggle and nipple. Uh-huh. Thought so. Someday, society is going to accept that women have boobs. Yup there they are.
Flashing is 100 word scenes or mini-stories. This was an auto-biographical flash!
LSB's blog SExpressions has flashing every Sunday. Anyone can play.
Flashing is 100 word scenes or mini-stories. This was an auto-biographical flash!
LSB's blog SExpressions has flashing every Sunday. Anyone can play.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Challenge
Every year my mom and I have a girls escape. We go to the niagra region, stay at a new b&b and see plays at the Shaw Festival. And shop, drink wine, and eat well.
This year, there was an excerpt in the program to Shaw's Philanderer from him that has resonated with me for a few weeks now. The play has an anti-heroine: a perfectly despicable yet pathetic ultrafeminine manipulative bitch. (played with fun melodrama by Nicole Underhay).
As a writer of alpha heroes in erotic romance, I'm very well aware of the un-pc fantasies I create. But I think this quote is going to inform and strongly effect my next book. It's an excerpt from The Quintessence of Ibsenism 1913. Ibsenism was a writer's term used for the women's equality movement.
"Although romantic idealists generally insist on self-surrender as an indispensable element in true womanly love, its repulsive effect is well known and feared in practice by both sexes. The extreme instance is the reckless self-abandonment seen in the infatuation of passionate sexual desire. Everyone who becomes the object of that infatuation shrinks from it instinctively. Love loses its charm when it is not free; and whether the compulsion is that of custom and law, or of infatuation, the effect is the same: it becomes valueless and even abhorrent, like the caresss of a maniac. The desire to give inspires no affection unless there is also the power to withhold; and the successful wooer, in both sexes alike, is the one who can stand out for honorable conditions, and, failing them, go without."
He's talking about a woman coming to a marriage as an equal instead of chattel. He then goes on to rail against marriage in general and head off into communist views of child rearing.
Aside from those points, here's what I want to use from this quote: both must be absolute equals. There must be no obligation, no limit on movement. There must be no "love at first sight," soulmates, or infatuation of any kind. The emotion must evolve, and must be out of choice freely given and uncompelled. The sex must have no element of passivity or surrender. And he's given me my conflict: one of them, I'd like it to be the heroine, thinks the other is compelled and refuses to give into the relationship out of honor.
When I look at this summary, it's kind of a "duh" moment. I mean, this is what I want for myself, so why wouldn't I write it in my fiction. But in the 4 books I've completed, I've broken at least one of these ideas in each. and yes i'm well aware that sexual submission does not mean an imbalance of emotion or power in a relationship-it's a key fantasy of mine, but i'm working on a philosophy here. I guess I've thrown myself into a fantasy world sexually and politically, and now I'm ready to try something new. In the past, i've used self surrender, and my world building includes harsh movement limitations for women, instant knowledge of life partners, and lots of sexual submission. it's a very successful (and sexy-to-me) male-dominated society.
This will be a writer's challenge for me, to see if I can hold to these relationship rules as I write, in the world I've designed, and still be left with an erotic romance.
This year, there was an excerpt in the program to Shaw's Philanderer from him that has resonated with me for a few weeks now. The play has an anti-heroine: a perfectly despicable yet pathetic ultrafeminine manipulative bitch. (played with fun melodrama by Nicole Underhay).
As a writer of alpha heroes in erotic romance, I'm very well aware of the un-pc fantasies I create. But I think this quote is going to inform and strongly effect my next book. It's an excerpt from The Quintessence of Ibsenism 1913. Ibsenism was a writer's term used for the women's equality movement.
"Although romantic idealists generally insist on self-surrender as an indispensable element in true womanly love, its repulsive effect is well known and feared in practice by both sexes. The extreme instance is the reckless self-abandonment seen in the infatuation of passionate sexual desire. Everyone who becomes the object of that infatuation shrinks from it instinctively. Love loses its charm when it is not free; and whether the compulsion is that of custom and law, or of infatuation, the effect is the same: it becomes valueless and even abhorrent, like the caresss of a maniac. The desire to give inspires no affection unless there is also the power to withhold; and the successful wooer, in both sexes alike, is the one who can stand out for honorable conditions, and, failing them, go without."
He's talking about a woman coming to a marriage as an equal instead of chattel. He then goes on to rail against marriage in general and head off into communist views of child rearing.
Aside from those points, here's what I want to use from this quote: both must be absolute equals. There must be no obligation, no limit on movement. There must be no "love at first sight," soulmates, or infatuation of any kind. The emotion must evolve, and must be out of choice freely given and uncompelled. The sex must have no element of passivity or surrender. And he's given me my conflict: one of them, I'd like it to be the heroine, thinks the other is compelled and refuses to give into the relationship out of honor.
When I look at this summary, it's kind of a "duh" moment. I mean, this is what I want for myself, so why wouldn't I write it in my fiction. But in the 4 books I've completed, I've broken at least one of these ideas in each. and yes i'm well aware that sexual submission does not mean an imbalance of emotion or power in a relationship-it's a key fantasy of mine, but i'm working on a philosophy here. I guess I've thrown myself into a fantasy world sexually and politically, and now I'm ready to try something new. In the past, i've used self surrender, and my world building includes harsh movement limitations for women, instant knowledge of life partners, and lots of sexual submission. it's a very successful (and sexy-to-me) male-dominated society.
This will be a writer's challenge for me, to see if I can hold to these relationship rules as I write, in the world I've designed, and still be left with an erotic romance.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Lazy is as Lazy does
One week till school opens.
Dreams of inadequacy and incompetence for the past week, and do I start doing the 80 million things I need to?
No.
I was at a sticking point in book 4. Not wanting to push it because I know I'm about to pick up an editor for book 2 any day. (Just as school is opening. After 2 months of free time.) Laying in bed today I had a great idea of the sticking point. Do I start writing? No I reread.
My front gardens are out of control. (My side garden is my baby and I'm all over that.) Today is the first non-freezing, non-sweltering, non-rainy day in 3 weeks. Am I gardening? No, I'm over at romance divas, where I have a gift for being a thread killer. I read a nice thread, and then I post to it, and then it's dead.
Yesterday my goal was 4 loads of laundry. I got one in, then my candle workbench caught my eye. It needed dusting. So I dusted it. Then I decided to remelt the old, strain it, and since it was hot, do a couple container candles. So I made a trio of seashell votives, and a glitter pillar, and lead crystal pot.
So here's to procrastination. Here's to doing tomorrow so you can do something interesting today and have nightmares tonight. Here's to summer's song of cicadas, crickets, and tree frogs.
Dreams of inadequacy and incompetence for the past week, and do I start doing the 80 million things I need to?
No.
I was at a sticking point in book 4. Not wanting to push it because I know I'm about to pick up an editor for book 2 any day. (Just as school is opening. After 2 months of free time.) Laying in bed today I had a great idea of the sticking point. Do I start writing? No I reread.
My front gardens are out of control. (My side garden is my baby and I'm all over that.) Today is the first non-freezing, non-sweltering, non-rainy day in 3 weeks. Am I gardening? No, I'm over at romance divas, where I have a gift for being a thread killer. I read a nice thread, and then I post to it, and then it's dead.
Yesterday my goal was 4 loads of laundry. I got one in, then my candle workbench caught my eye. It needed dusting. So I dusted it. Then I decided to remelt the old, strain it, and since it was hot, do a couple container candles. So I made a trio of seashell votives, and a glitter pillar, and lead crystal pot.
So here's to procrastination. Here's to doing tomorrow so you can do something interesting today and have nightmares tonight. Here's to summer's song of cicadas, crickets, and tree frogs.
Friday, August 3, 2007
Trying something new
It is so absolutely dangerous to try something new. Putting yourself out there and knowing you'll face adversity, but wanting the challenge... brave. I'm not brave. I'm very very tiny inside. So I've taken my long time internet pseudonym, and started publishing my erotica.
I'm pretty snazzpoozled about being 37 and just published. Not looking to rival Lora Leigh and not looking to supplement the income. Just doing this because I love the creativity of it, and love being part of the fabulous author communities. Feeding off their creativity is really inspiring.
Been writing romance all my life. Been horny all my life. It's a beautiful fit.
Here's to Beast Within, the story of a lizard and a sweety. Here's to Liquid Silver Books. Here's to being brave and dangerous.
I'm pretty snazzpoozled about being 37 and just published. Not looking to rival Lora Leigh and not looking to supplement the income. Just doing this because I love the creativity of it, and love being part of the fabulous author communities. Feeding off their creativity is really inspiring.
Been writing romance all my life. Been horny all my life. It's a beautiful fit.
Here's to Beast Within, the story of a lizard and a sweety. Here's to Liquid Silver Books. Here's to being brave and dangerous.
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